After much labor, I felt as if I was "spinning my wheels." No matter how hard I tried, I could not nail down the elusive truths of life, the universe, and everything. I still did not know the meaning behind all things, or if such a meaning exists. My official position on God was "I don't know" - that is, I did not claim God's existence or nonexistence, nor did I take a position on whether or not it is possible to come to a knowledge of God.

Frustrated, I burned the whole stack of writings. As I watched my work go up in flames, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I felt that I had wasted a huge amount of time. On the other hand, I felt a great sense of relief since a big burden was taken off my shoulders. In either case, I was ready to move on, restricting myself to the "objective" pursuits of mathematics, physics, and other sciences.